Why you no deliver?

“Right, I would like a chicken curry, egg fried rice, chips, chicken balls but instead of the sweet and sour can I have a curry sauce instead?”

“Yep, that’s fine, can I take a name for that please?”

“Yes it’s Dave.”

“Ok that should take about 10 minutes?”

“Great, my address is 19 Green-“

“Oh no sorry we don’t deliver, you have to pick it up and it’s ready in 10 minutes.”

“Oh-right, don’t worry about it then.”

This is probably one of many phone orders where I have to explain to the customer that we don’t do home deliveries. In one instance someone literally laughed down the phone and went “ha, you’re not gonna believe this, they don’t do deliveries!” (Ok, now the right etiquette for that is you’re meant to cover the receiving end…).

Unfortunately our takeaway is one of the few places that never quite caught onto the 21st century where a home delivery for a takeaway is just as normal as everyone owning an iPhone. A takeaway that doesn’t offer deliveries is treated like the person that owns a Nokia 3310; reliable and long-lasting but so not in touch with the 21st century.

In my defence, I only passed my driving test when I was 19 during what must have been my first or second year at university and my parents wouldn’t insure me as I was away from home five days of the week and therefore had no need for a car because I was taking the train home instead of driving.

On the advice of my parents doing driving deliveries just wasn’t feasible because you would have to factor in the cost of petrol as well and also because we are understaffed back at the takeaway. Were I to leave to run an errand during a peak time that things will get a bit disorganised, people will have the wrong bags and so on. In a way I’m a glue of some form that helps hold it together?

The normal person would be willing to get off their backside for a McDonalds and no one seems to mind the fact that McDonalds don’t deliver in the UK (I mean why would you? The objective of McDonalds is that it is fast food and doesn’t take that long to prepare).

Making the effort to travel a slightly shorter distance to a Chinese Takeaway isn’t that much to ask for now is it?

So why not employ a driver then? You ask. That option was never really a serious consideration given that it’s a family business. In a way there is a bit of a reluctance to take on someone we don’t know. Plus there is also the opinion that there might not be a need for a takeaway given that in five years time I won’t exactly be standing behind wok tossing egg fried rice as a full-time job anyway. In other words why waste time on a place that is going to be a dying business when the next generation are not going to be running a takeaway as a full time job?

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